The Esk Cafe in Carlisle

Genuinely the worst takeaway experience I’ve ever had. Their opening times were listed as 9pm. Assuming even if that was wrong I’d be okay getting in there at 7:40pm.I heard one of the ladies in there say to somebody after he’d queued up that they weren’t cooking anything else now except chips and the leftover bits of food on display. There was a black pudding fritter, fish cake and piece of chicken left. As we were both very hungry I reluctantly ordered 2 chip butties along with the black pudding and chicken. Thinking that even if the black pudding and chicken were terrible that the chips would at least be nice as they were cooking them fresh.I was wrong. The black pudding and chicken were bad, I assumed that was because they’d been sat for a while which I didn’t really mind. But how can somebody dry out chips so much? It felt like these had been cooked days before and reheated by throwing them back in the fryer! Honestly they were so dry and difficult to eat that we just threw them in the bin. Also to follow that, the bread bun was absolutely tiny!I’ve eaten bad takeaway before, but honestly this was the worst takeaway experience I’ve ever had. The staff seemed like they just couldn’t be bothered serving anybody and were bickering with each other behind the counter. The food was terrible and I am just glad that I now know that I can avoid ever returning.I’ve never done a negative google review before because I’ve never felt this strongly about food before. Honestly. The worst.Ryan

Consistently average food. Good for a last minute visit

Granted it was a Cod not a jelly fish, but it was full of bones. Never ever had haddock or cod from a fish shop with this many bones in it, yes the odd one sometimes gets left in the fillet, but this was stupid. Was like eating Kippers!! Take care if young children eat from here. Chips and curry was very good. Go with Haddock, it's a much better fish. Trust me Cod is Southern nonsense!!! Staff very friendly.

Passing through and found these extraordinary fish and chips.... Best I've had in England

We had fish & chips from this place today - the fish was cooked to order & was ok, if small for the price - the chips were absolutely rank, they must have been cooked a week ago & heated up every day until someone was foolish enough to actually pay good money for them!!Would we recommend this place - never!!!

A fish and chip shop with a surprise: Their steak slice is an unexpected treasure. Crammed full of proper, beautifully cooked good quality steak chunks. It has a great, genuine pastry top and bottom (and side if you get a side piece). You get a generous portion, great value for money.This is something that you can easily overlook but you will miss out on a surprisingly excellent menu item.The fish and chips themselves are cooked perfectly and not drowned in batter and grease. Full marks for great delivery of this great British traditional food.Place is clean, looks attractive (for a chippy) and the staff are friendly and polite while remaining efficient. Most importantly they are also clean and hygienic! You can expect a wee chat with these lovely people.Added bonus is that they use non-plastic packaging. Credit to this little gem of a place in Cumbria!

The best fish and chips I've ever had! Great quality, large portions, very affordable and friendly service too. The shop is always sparkling clean and the food is ready in minutes.

Great little Fish and Chip shop with a good selection of food available. The portion sizes are really good, you won't be hungry afterwards that's for sure. The chips are really yummy and the fish, wow, really tasty.

The Esk Cafe is a great business, with the best Fish & Chip super for miles, employing local staff, working very hard to give back to Longtown & the wider community. They also home cook other daily specials, for example Lasagne & pies, excellent fresh food & drink, always happy polite welcoming staff. A truly superb local business, giving us quality food & regularly helping to support good causes.Thank you - Heather & Zach GrahamZach Graham Photo Art - Longtowns Ladybird's Pebble Art

We'd rather do the extra few miles from Carlisle to get our chips from here. The specials are great value and very satisfying. I regret ignoring the place for so many years.